Loss of Libido........
How tame those words sound compared to the reality. For some women, 'loss of libido' doesn't just mean a lessening of desire.... it can mean a complete and total loss of all sexuality.
It can mean never wanting to have sex, but also to never wanting to be cuddled, or be kissed or held, but to become a completely non-sexual being.
There are always those who have all kinds of advice: Use it or lose it, go with the flow and have sex even if you aren't in the mood because it will stimulate the sex drive. Those who have been there already know they can't stimulate something they no longer have, it has no effect other than to make them even more frustrated with their bodies.
And some know-it-alls might ask "how do you *really* feel about your husband?" and "maybe you're just bored with your husband"....... How cruel and ignorant to those who have lost their sexuality.... there's nothing like 'blaming the victim'!
If it were that simple, if there wasn't a medical reason for the total loss of libido, those women would still be having erotic dreams and/or thoughts, they'd still be checking out the guys with tight buns, they'd still be having sexual fantasies or masturbating.
But they don't.
Some of those women have been relentless in their search for a 'cure', some means of getting back their sexuality. They grieve for it and are willing to try about anything. Ginseng, sarsaparilla, evening primrose, cohosh, vitex, vitamin E.......... warm oil massages, watching porn movies, using sex toys. Some of those things work for some women. But for others, none of those things work.
To those women for which nothing else will work, talk to your doctor about testosterone. For some of us, it's the only thing that works. No, you won't grow a beard or mustache and your voice will not deepen. You'll just have wonderful orgasms and even if you don't find yourself chasing your husband around the bedroom, you'll at least regain a healthy enjoyment of sex!
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Some symptoms may also be associated with thyroid, heart disease and other medical conditions and your primary caregiver should be consulted.
The information found on these pages is for informational purposes only and not intended to take the place of professional medical care.
This site was created by Judy Bayliss, originator and owner of the Menopaus Email Support Group
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